I thought you’d appreciate this little ditty composed by someone who is a real novice at this directing stuff….shows my state of mind the night before the pageant as I was finishing up the costumes. (Note I substituted Grand parents for Mama and Papa)
WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?!?!?
7 Mice, 6 lambs, 2 horses, a cow, a pig and a chicken. Did I really think
we could MAKE all of those costumes?
And those SONGS…..did I really think they would LEARN them?
A FIREPLACE? WHY DO WE NEED A FIREPLACE? What’s that? You want STOCKINGS?!?!??! And you say there aren’t enough STOCKINGS for the number of MICE?
No, Jason, you don’t need to hold the microphone for everyone else to speak into.
Alright, kids, be honest with me…..how many of you have NO idea what the words are to this song? How many do? Ok, Those of you who KNOW the words, sing…..those who don’t, don’t. (That should do it, right?)
What the heck do you MEAN we have to get the three and four year olds in there with “Away in a Manger?”
Yes, Mary, you can wear a pillow under your outfit because Mary is, after all, pregnant. And yes, Joseph, it’s ok to use the word “pregnant.” Except for you, grandpa, you can substitute the phrase “with child” if it makes you uncomfortable to say “pregnant.”
I’m sorry you didn’t get to be a Lamkin, Tara, maybe next year.
Jason, if I have to tell you one more time to put that microphone down, I am reassigning your part. (Surely they don’t know that the programs are already printed)
Please, please, please stop tearing up the hay. We need to have some left for the manger. Sorry, Katherine, I didn’t know you were allergic. Remind me next year and I’ll make sure you aren’t in the manger scene.
Mr. Sound Man, please just do as I say.
The lower you play the music, the lower they will sing. It’s that simple. Blast me out of here. Hey, kids, how many times are you going to hear an adult give you PERMISSION to YELL in the Fellowship Hall? SPEAK UP!
…..no, no, only when you have a line, smarty pants.
Yes, sweetheart, I did hear that you have a new baby sister at home, but I don’t think she can play Baby Jesus JUST yet. What? Yes, I know she would do really well at the crying part.
Yes, honey, I know that the script calls for Grandma to be knitting, but why don’t we make sure we know all of our own lines and staging points before we start worrying about someone else’s?
JASON GET YOUR FOOT OFF THAT MICROPHONE STAND!!!!!
Oh, my goodness, I forgot the star for the manger scene. Note #101 to
Director……find star.
What exactly enticed me to tackle all of this?! What made me think that we had to make it THAT much better than last year? Someone start praying. I sense a fainting spell!
What’s that, Lisa? Oh, sweetie, you’re welcome. I loved doing it.